My training and experience as a coach have shed some light on why these resolutions so often failed. I’ve learned that there’s a big difference between a hollow resolution and a true intention. First of all, why is it that we only focus on “fixing” ourselves once a year? If something is truly in need of correction, isn’t it urgent enough to start on it as soon as the problem is identified? Why not June 4, or Sept 20th or…..? You get the idea. If it’s not urgent, why bother trying to fix it at all? What’s the reason for focusing on it on January 1? If something is only important enough to focus on at the beginning of the year, if you don’t start making progress by February, you will move on to something else. I would posit that if the reason you are doing something is because society or someone says you should do it, you will not be dedicated to it, and you will likely abandon the effort. This is true for any resolution regardless of how important it seems outwardly -- losing weight, finding a mate, changing careers, shedding harmful relationships, etc. The reason for taking something on must come from within. You must honestly assess why you are doing something and how the story that you are telling yourself is impacting what, why and how you are doing what you are doing. While you may be saying out loud that you need to lose weight, if you secretly feel that you’re a slob and nothing will work for you, you probably won’t lose weight. Although you are saying the right things, and you might even be one of those people us regular gym-goers despises in January for clogging up our gym, by February, if your true intention is not to lose weight, your self-sabotaging thoughts will take over, and us regulars will get our gym back.
As an avid golfer, I see a perfect analogy in golf. Golfers spend a fair amount of time lining themselves up in order to insure that the ball goes where they intend for it to go. But, very often, although they think they are lined up to the target, because of course they want to win and that’s what they seem to be looking at, they hit the ball left or right because that’s the direction that their body was really facing. They were not really facing their target. Ask yourself which way your body is facing the next time you make a resolution to determine whether it’s a hollow resolution or whether it’s a solid intention aimed at your target.
In order to successfully set intentions, ask yourself the follow questions:
- What do I really want? For example, do you really want to lose weight for yourself or do you just want to be more attractive so you can find a life partner or a mate? If it’s the latter, losing weight won’t ensure that you find a partner, and being the smart person that you are, you know this (even though you won’t say it out loud), so you cheat on your diet or your workout, until you abandon it all together.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is it to you that you achieve your goal? If you’re honestly only at a 5, your willingness (or unwillingness) to do what it takes will impact your success, and you are probably not squarely facing your target.
- How will you hold yourself accountable? Making changes is hard. If it weren’t so, we’d all be the prefect size for us, with healthy diets and great attitudes. Having someone to hold you accountable doesn’t mean that you should be berated if you make a mistake. We all make them and mistakes are necessary for growth and improvement. Have someone you trust and who can be impartial, without a stake in the outcome of your actions (like your favorite Coach!) hold you accountable in 2016.
#trueintentions; #bodyfacingthetarget; #takeaction; #holeinone; #wheelercoachingforsuccess; #livelovelearnplaywinbe